Real conversation I had today at work.

ME: Hey, $COMPANY_LAWYER?
HIM: Yes?
ME: How much legal trouble would I be in if-
HIM: If you're asking that question, you already are.
ME: No, no, hasn't happened yet.
HIM: Okay, go on.
ME: If I were to take the address of this company I know here in New York...
HIM: Uh huh...
ME: And call the Mormons and the Jehovah's Witnesses, say, and ask them to go there and proselytize a lot?
HIM: ... what kind of company is this?
ME: They're called Direct Revenue. They make spyware and claim it's opt-in advertising. I have their street address.
HIM: Jeez, why are you bothering to have anyone preach at them? Just have them shot!