Line I really didn't wanna see in a spam mail:

Russian Nuclear Secrets Could Bring You 10,000% Profits!

... yaheh.

w00t.

Got tomorrow off.

Got half a day off on Monday.

Got Trans-Siberian Orchestra tickets.

cadhla? You wanna see about kitten visits Monday afternoon?

Winner of the "Don't Tailgate the Liquid Oxygen Truck" award for Blindingly Obvious Statements:

There's a commercial that CNBC keeps running that begins with a truly, amazingly, utterly staggeringly obvious line.

"Ouch! Soldering irons hurt!"