I have figured it out.

After the creation of the Imperial Japanese Mounted Police, I finally figured out what the HELL is going on inside my head.

On some level, the part of my mind that stopped progressing at about eight years old fears Hell, or the possibility thereof. It also greatly fears the so-called Pascalian Wager: that if we do not know if a god exists or not, we had better believe in him, for we can lose nothing by believing and being wrong, but we can lose a lot by not believing and being wrong. Not because of the possibility of believing and being wrong about God's existence, but because of the possibility of other gods being the ones that exist. Specifically, of multiple gods existing, each of which has its own mutually exclusive criteria for how to get into the reward version of the afterlife as opposed to the punishment version. So it's decided to take matters into its own little grey hands.

As nearly as I can tell, the multicultural / multiethnic insanity that my brain periodically spits out is my brain's way of attempting to secure its position in the afterlife. Specifically, to piss off as many pantheons as humanly possible, in the hopes that there will be such a jurisdictional squabble among the various deities that I can't be assigned to anyone's afterlife and must be either reincarnated or simply let go.

I am told this is very John Constantine of me. The idea of an eight year old Constantine lurking at the bottom of my brain is nearly as frightening as the idea of . . . well, nearly anything, but it would explain a fair bit, wouldn't it? Little chibi Constantine pulling the strings in my head. Yeah, that explains a lot.

Because I know an idea my brain will not let go of when I smell one,

I have added "Imperial Japanese Mounted Police" to my LJ interest list.

*sigh*

Now I have to figure out what to do with the bastards. olna_jenn, penguinzero, heeeeeelp....