*snicker*

I don't know whether to laugh at this, or consider it an omen, or what.

At Vatican, Saint Peter Loses His Keys

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - The Gospels say Jesus gave the apostle Peter the keys to the kingdom of heaven, thereby entrusting him with the spiritual guidance of the faithful.

Now the Vatican has lost them.

Vatican authorities were searching on Thursday for the left hand -- the one holding the keys -- of a 13th-century marble statue of the apostle in St. Peter's Basilica after the hand and keys mysteriously vanished.

Carved from a separate block of marble attached to the arm by a metal rod, the hand would have been relatively easy to remove. The Vatican was tight-lipped about what might have happened to it, saying only it was missing.

"I've got the keys to the kingdom of heaven here! What am I bid to let your relatives in - or out?"

Today's pulp survival tip is #100. If anyone seems particularly reluctant to abide by the warning on a tomb or wall or whatever not to remove any of the contents, make them stand guard instead of coming in with you. Cursed tomb guardians see no difference between the gold filling in the mummy's back molar and the mummy's entire sarcophagus.

I'm gonna throttle my parents.

A lot. I told 'em about the train rides and places I wanted to stay in China. They keep harping on the 'get a tour' thing. Everyone they've talked to says to get on a tour, they say. An educational tour, a general tour, whatever. They don't like the idea of me having to get from one city to another on my own if I go with a single-city tour, either. I realize I don't speak the language and I've never been there before, but I don't want to use a tour service. They'll make me pay extra for being alone in hotels I didn't want and they'll march me through things at everyone else's pace and they'll visit things I might or might not want to visit. Dammit, what does it take to get through to them?

At least I have a few months to convince them I'll be fine. I mean, if I can show them travel bookings online in advance for inter-city travel, and proof that I'll have contact with someone who can speak English in the cities I'm visiting... I know people in Wuhan and Hong Kong. Beijing and Xi'an, no. I figure it can't be all that hard to get a guide or something in Beijing, and I plan on contacting HI by email about that. Xi'an probably has some guides too, since they've got the Assload of Soldiers. I have time to come up with something.

Somehow, not surprised.

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