My mother will not

be permitted to disgrace the family name today by handing out LOLLIPOPS and RAISINS, dammit. She won't. I stopped at ShopRite this morning on the way to work and bought bags of KitKats and Three Musketeers. I'd have gotten Junior Mints, but the store didn't seem to have any bags of the little individual boxes in stock.

Honestly, what parent these days would let their kid take raisin boxes from a stranger? It's not like Sunmaid seals the individual boxes...

Anyway. We're actually giving out chocolate this year as long as I have something to say about it. Dammit, there are standards to uphold.

Today's pulp survival tip is #34. The Janey Malone Memorial Rule: It's amazing how often the gods listen when people offer to make bargains.