This is the part

where I run through the hallways screaming 'no no no no no'.

Derrick my co-worker (yes, he spells his name like that, no, he is not a construction worker, no, he is not particularly tall nor is he gangly, no, he has nothing to do with oil, any more questions) came up to me just now with a piece of paper in his hand. "Camwyn," says he, "you like adventure, right? Wanna go on one?"

"What adventure? Where?" say I warily. I'm in the middle of adjusting a board member's record in the fundraising database and am assuming he means a fire in one of the uglier areas of Paterson or Newark, as it's well known I go on these things without fear.

"New Orleans," says Derrick.

AAAAAAGH. I think I set the record for use of the phrase 'I'm going to Canada' the most times in a two-minute time span in the course of my refusal. Interspersed with 'I already did my three weeks away from the chapter', of course, but the main thing weighing on my mind was I Am Going To Canada Dammit. They need our chapter's ERV down in the Isidore/Lili cleanup region and the DSHR (Disaster Services Human Resources) System mandates that at least two people have to go with each ERV, even if it gets reassigned when the driver checks in at the scene. It's known around the Chapter that I'm more than willing to accept dirty scutwork disaster assignments, whether it's computer related or puppeting at small kids or opening a storm shelter or whatever (dude, we're Red Cross, it's what we do), so I guess they figured I was a good one to ask.

I'm not going. I have my vacation coming. I did more than three weeks on the DSHR this year, first in Denver, then in Texas. The chapter's in an unhappy situation financially, like every other Red Cross unit across the country, and it would be grotesque of me to ask them to pay my salary for three weeks while I wasn't there. they only get reimbursed for my salary if I hold a DSHR rank of Specialist or better, and I have to take the DCO class for that. I might technically be ERV certified (I say technically because I haven't taken the mandatory defensive driving course yet, that's coming soon, I think) and I might be a DCO Tech verging on Specialist, but dammit - I can only ask so much of the Chapter, and even if I could ask anything, I'm going to Canada. I'm not giving up being foreign for a week, no matter how powerfully seductive the idea of 'sorry, can't take the midterm, I'm gonna be in New Orleans' might be.

*clutches Amtrak tickets tightly, retreats into corner until only glowing eyes can be seen* Precioussss....

British 419 scammers, you're gonna burn

Fake bank website cons victims

West African criminals have used a fake version of a British bank's online service to milk victims of cash, say police.
The fake site was used to squeeze more money out of people they had already hooked.

The site has been shut down. But UK National Criminal Intelligence Service, (NCIS), said at least two Canadians had lost more than $100,000 after being taken in by the fake website.

The scam behind the fake web domain was the familiar one that offers people a share of the huge sums of money they need moved out of various African nations...

Here's the important bit: one of the relevant links in the margin.

National Criminal Intelligence Service West African Organised Crime Section

If you receive a 419 letter, hand the letter or email into your local police station, marked for the attention of the Fraud Squad. Emails should be printed out in full, including the header and complete sender details.

Please do not send them to NCIS, as intelligence on this crime is now collated on a regional basis before being forwarded to NCIS.

If you have lost money to this fraud, please immediately contact the West African Organised Crime Section direct on 020 7238 8012.

419 emails are very common, and you may continue to be sent them. Please do not send them direct to NCIS unless you have lost money. Instead, send a copy to the Internet Service Provider from where the 419 email originated. These emails should be addressed to:

abuse@ 'the ISP name' (for example abuse@yahoo.com, abuse@hotmail.com, abuse@onebox.com)

By this method, the ISPs can terminate any accounts that abuse their systems.

I'm sure they'll centralise at some point, but for now - have fun handing this in. These guys suck.