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Have seen the Constantine trailer. Still got both my eyes.
I was persuaded to watch the trailer last night by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pandoras_closet, despite the screaming of my self-preservation instinct.
I still don't believe in the movie. The problem is not that Keanu is bad. The problem is that he is completely unconvincing. He's the wrong colour, skin and hair and eyes alike. He looks too clean. He dresses wrong (I don't remember seeing anything that qualified as The Coat). He sounds wrong, naturally. He didn't even look like he knew what to do with his cigarette! It was completely impossible to believe that the guy I was looking at was in any way representative of, or even related to, the Right King of All Bastards. You might as well cast Tom Felton as Othello and expect me to believe I was looking at the Moor of Venice.
If you're going to cast an American in the part, and move the story to the States, at least have the decency to translate the atmosphere, too. America can't match the sense of Ancient Dreadfulness that hangs over Constantine's Britain; we shouldn't even try. But the sense of corrosive, pervasive promise-gone-to-rot that can be found in your finer film noir and hardboiled detective stories might just be our analogue. Find an actor who's suited to the part, not someone who got an honourary award for best action movie star at the World Stunt Awards. (I have nothing against action or stunt work, but it's not exactly the same thing as what John does, now is it.) Get a decent writer. Lock the director down in front of The Maltese Falcon and Touch of Evil and things like that for a fortnight or two. Then let them do it. Translate it properly into the American milieu and it might have a chance.
But don't ask me to believe in Keanu, because it can't be done.
pandoras_closet, despite the screaming of my self-preservation instinct.I still don't believe in the movie. The problem is not that Keanu is bad. The problem is that he is completely unconvincing. He's the wrong colour, skin and hair and eyes alike. He looks too clean. He dresses wrong (I don't remember seeing anything that qualified as The Coat). He sounds wrong, naturally. He didn't even look like he knew what to do with his cigarette! It was completely impossible to believe that the guy I was looking at was in any way representative of, or even related to, the Right King of All Bastards. You might as well cast Tom Felton as Othello and expect me to believe I was looking at the Moor of Venice.
If you're going to cast an American in the part, and move the story to the States, at least have the decency to translate the atmosphere, too. America can't match the sense of Ancient Dreadfulness that hangs over Constantine's Britain; we shouldn't even try. But the sense of corrosive, pervasive promise-gone-to-rot that can be found in your finer film noir and hardboiled detective stories might just be our analogue. Find an actor who's suited to the part, not someone who got an honourary award for best action movie star at the World Stunt Awards. (I have nothing against action or stunt work, but it's not exactly the same thing as what John does, now is it.) Get a decent writer. Lock the director down in front of The Maltese Falcon and Touch of Evil and things like that for a fortnight or two. Then let them do it. Translate it properly into the American milieu and it might have a chance.
But don't ask me to believe in Keanu, because it can't be done.
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The thing that kills me is there is an actor out there who would be a perfect John. James Marsters would have been the perfect choice. Anyone who saw him as Spike would agree with me. AND he can do a decent British accent. AND he looks like Constantine. AND he can act. So it really bothers me that they've wasted the character in this movie.
Gah. Makes me what to throw things.
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"They didn't call it Hellblazer. I don't have to believe in it. They didn't call it Hellblazer. It doesn't count."
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John wouldn't even visit California on a dare. (Maybe to kick The First in the nads but he'd leave ASAP)
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Yeah.
John in LA is not a good thing. But then John within any distance of anyone is not a good thing. He's like a carrion crow. Death follows in his wake, or he follows in Death's wake and either way it won't be pretty.
- Mel
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I'm going to retreat into my happy little fantasy world in which he's starring and the Keanu movie doesn't exist, 'kay?