camwyn | (no subject)

Current Mood: enraged

(no subject)

So.

New York City's gonna do random searches of people's bags if they wanna get on the subway and 'people who don't want to be searched are perfectly free to turn around and leave the station'.

Show of hands- do I start carrying a bag full of mousetraps, or should I start carrying a bag full of some formulation of Play-Doh that feels like dog crap if a cop puts his hand on it? Not that I dislike the members of the NYPD; I'm very fond of cops in general. But since the city doesn't seem to think that the Constitution matters any more (small surprise, since Washington doesn't either)- or that this constitutes a reasonable search and seizure- I'd like to make it plain that if you're going to search me, ever, you are going to have to pay for that privilege.

I'm thinkin' the play-doh. Or a can of non-dairy creamer with a lid that comes off easily- no, then they'd go "ACK ANTHRAX" and I'd be late for work. But you get the idea.

Suggestions?

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I read about that... completely forgot the small matter of your national constitution/bill of rights thing (not having much of one over here it does slip the mind occasionally -grin-).

I don't know what I'd do to subvert that little ordnance myself... I'd be torn between my resentment of the rule and my sympathy for the rank and file coppers who have to enforce it. A collection of rubber rats, snakes and spiders in a brown paper bag...? I mean, they're bound to be phobic of one of them right?

Depends on your personal embarrassment threshold too I suppose, an assortment of (clean but rumpled) underwear, female necessessaries or rubber objects of unfathomable purpose might raise blushes on the searchers face.

I have really very little in the way of personal embarrassment when it comes to stuff like this. I'd been sort of considering the Sparkly Pink Dildo approach, but I think I fancy the spiders-and-Tampax idea better.

:-) "Giant spiders as a weapon against oppression..."

See, the spirit of Babs lives on :-)

Although "Sparkly Pink Dildos against oppression" has a certain panache.

The one problem with that is that I then have to find a sparkly pink dildo. From what I've seen, I may have to settle for a leopard-patterned vibrator instead or something.

Oh come on. This is New York F-ing City

- stress on the F-ing-

and you work within a couple train stops of the west village. *If* you look, you *will* find a Sparkly Pink Dildo, in any of many unique and possibly frightening configurations.

Seattle has some wonderful shops for stuff like that.

Hmmm... let me see what I can find....

Ah! Here's (http://www.somethingsexyplanet.com/cart/category.cfm?cat=3&subcat=20) one that's pink, and has balls attached to it... It's not sparkly, though.

Aha! A pink sparkly vibrating dildo! (http://www.sexed.com/1493-00.htm)

Really. Who's your best friend now? (I mean, besides the pink sparkly vibrating dildo I just located for you...)

Aw! How thoughtful. Thank you, sweetie! I shall have to send you my copy of The Frogs of Summer in return- nothing like hearing "Macarena" rendered almost entirely in recorded frog noises.

"I look at my enormous penis...."

Alas, Frogs of Summer came out before that, so I cannot have the frogs accompany me as I sing. Such a pity. It's clearly a song begging for frog background music.

Would you like a Hello Kitty vibrator? I have an extra I'd be happy to forward to you.

Won't be necessary. Although I'll consider it the next time I have to go on a plane trip.

Yes, um.... the sparkly pink dildo approach would probably just make them more interested in you in a more... personal way.

At the airport we've run into just about everything in people's bags.

"My suitcase was vibrating?"

"Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...
[whispering] it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo."

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