6. Not allowed to trade anything whatsoever to centaurs in exchange for smoking rights in Forbidden Forest.
Has he tried trading anything to the spiders yet?
8. None of the sixth-year Gryffindors is named Tim.
I'm sure that discovering that is a story in itself.
11. Loudly repeating 'Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort' is not a good way to get the classroom quiet.
However, it IS an effective way...
14. Despite the fact that they are often aggravating little gits I am not permitted to accio any part of any student's clothing to get their attention.
Also frighteningly effective. Snape might start taking notes from John on how to terrorize a class.
19. My official title is 'Professor Constantine' not 'John Constantine, Right King of All Bastards'.
However, there's nothing wrong with claiming the latter as his unofficial title.
20. I do not know Legilimency, and it is wrong to imply that I do. Even if it is really, really easy to fake.
Or maybe John is just a natural Legilimens who has honed his talents with con artistry in his own world...
21. Must not make fun of the Minister of Magic's last name.
I don't really think anyone could help making fun of Fudge. The temptation to call him "Nutty Fudge" after the confection is just too tempting.
23. Am not allowed to encourage underperforming students to take up piracy as a career upon graduation.
I just had this mental image of Neville Longbottom becoming a pirate on the Spanish Main.
24. 'Shoot first and ask questions later' is not a good thing to teach students who know Unforgivables.
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 11:35 pm (UTC)Has he tried trading anything to the spiders yet?
8. None of the sixth-year Gryffindors is named Tim.
I'm sure that discovering that is a story in itself.
11. Loudly repeating 'Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort' is not a good way to get the classroom quiet.
However, it IS an effective way...
14. Despite the fact that they are often aggravating little gits I am not permitted to accio any part of any student's clothing to get their attention.
Also frighteningly effective. Snape might start taking notes from John on how to terrorize a class.
19. My official title is 'Professor Constantine' not 'John Constantine, Right King of All Bastards'.
However, there's nothing wrong with claiming the latter as his unofficial title.
20. I do not know Legilimency, and it is wrong to imply that I do. Even if it is really, really easy to fake.
Or maybe John is just a natural Legilimens who has honed his talents with con artistry in his own world...
21. Must not make fun of the Minister of Magic's last name.
I don't really think anyone could help making fun of Fudge. The temptation to call him "Nutty Fudge" after the confection is just too tempting.
23. Am not allowed to encourage underperforming students to take up piracy as a career upon graduation.
I just had this mental image of Neville Longbottom becoming a pirate on the Spanish Main.
24. 'Shoot first and ask questions later' is not a good thing to teach students who know Unforgivables.
Now THAT is a good rule.
This is extraordinarily funny. I love this.